Last night Cindy and I sat down to Arthur Christmas, watching it in February, fourteen months after its holiday release in 2011. I recall reviewers greeting it rather favorably at the time, and that's why I snagged it for the Netflix DVD queue. It even has a 7.1 rating on IMDB, which could perhaps be traced to enthusiastic families who have gathered for Christmas and soaked up a bunch of candy, liquor, or both. It isn't that good.
Here's what it does well: it shows the Christmas gift-delivery operation as a modern, hi-tech logistics wonder. Santa Claus relies very heavily on his son, a Bluetooth-connected executive named Steve, to make it all happen. Steve commands an army of tens of millions of elves at the North Pole in a massive underground ice palace, each gazing intently at their computer monitor: the Apollo 13 control room, times ten thousand, meets Polar Express. A major part of the magic is the S-1, a dazzling starship crewed by an elite group of elves, that disguises itself as the night sky. The techie touches of this sequence are pretty cool. However ...
the reigning Santa Claus, Steve's Dad, and his other son, Arthur, are portrayed as ineffective boobs. Santa is lazy and out of touch, and relies on Steve to literally deliver the goods. And Arthur, while not lazy, is a clumsy, wild-eyed naïf. The movie makes an attempt to sustain some suspense about getting a bike to a little girl in Cornwall, missed originally because of an oversight. Every last person in the audience knows how the thing will turn out, and all the tricks, dead ends, bad navigation, and flea-bitten, has-been reindeer in the world can't change that. There are some cool effects here, but this thing is destined for the scrap heap. I wouldn't give it more than five stars on a 10-star scale.
the reigning Santa Claus, Steve's Dad, and his other son, Arthur, are portrayed as ineffective boobs. Santa is lazy and out of touch, and relies on Steve to literally deliver the goods. And Arthur, while not lazy, is a clumsy, wild-eyed naïf. The movie makes an attempt to sustain some suspense about getting a bike to a little girl in Cornwall, missed originally because of an oversight. Every last person in the audience knows how the thing will turn out, and all the tricks, dead ends, bad navigation, and flea-bitten, has-been reindeer in the world can't change that. There are some cool effects here, but this thing is destined for the scrap heap. I wouldn't give it more than five stars on a 10-star scale.
So here it is, almost a week after you posted this, and I'm wondering if you are still jaded? It sounds awful, I believe you on that, but is it still making you cringe?
ReplyDeleteOn another note... if you read this soon... I hope you record SNL tonight (Saturday the 16th). SHould be awesome!
Sorry I missed SNL, Dan, and dad, thanks for the synopsis on "Arthur Christmas"; now I'll never need to subject my eyes to it. Two movies on Netflix we watched recently I'm comfortable recommending are "Drive" and "Butter".
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't seen Ryan Gosling, Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks and Ron Perlman in the actioner "Drive" Dan, you gotta see it. It's moody and dark with fits of violence, the scenes of LA are gritty and realistic, and the music sounds right out of the '80s. That may not be such a good thing, but it works. The opening nine minute getaway/chase scene is awesome in its realism. If you have seen it, when the Driver puts on his gloves before "talking" to the girl, I was nodding and saying "Yup, yup..." to my television.
"Butter" is one of the rare gems I'd never heard of beforehand. Apparently it was one of the favorite unproduced scripts in Hollywood, before Jennifer Garner's company got it made. It stars Garner, Ty Burrell (from "Modern Family"), Alicia Silverstone, Rob Corddry (in easily his most likable performance ever), that chick from Tron 2, Hugh Jackman, and the ultimate scene stealer: a little 10 year old black orphan girl who may be the most mature person in the film. The movie's an odd mix of predictability, funny, and satisfying. Kristen Schaal is also in it in a bit part (she's the voice of Louise Belcher, the best character from my new favorite cartoon).
Boy, a lot of cultural references that leave me in the dust.
ReplyDeleteLet's see, Dan, am I still jaded? That's like asking the guy on the witness stand, When did you stop beating your wife? Do you mean to say you saw "Arthur Christmas" and you think my review is crap?
I'm really okay with that, if you do.